A few weeks ago I sat down to write a new song. I hadn’t written one in a while and it felt like it was time to add another piece to my repertoire. I scribbled down a series of lyrics that sounded beautiful to me at the time. I plucked through a number of chords on my guitar that rang well with the words.
I then paced back and forth in my room trying to make sense of it all. Back and forth I paced. I usually don’t write music this way. Usually, there is an intended purpose from the moment my pen hits paper and my fingers touch strings. I was so confused. I couldn’t even make sense of what I had just written. I then made the conscious decision to just not bother with it. What was the point in pinning a meaning onto something just for the sake of doing it?
It wasn’t until last night when I played the song through for the first time for my boyfriend that it all made sense. While I would rather not get into the nitty gritty details of said song, I will say this …
We are who we are.
We have all done things in our lives that we may not necessarily be proud of. Our past may be tainted with regret, but really all that ugly stuff has made us who we are today. I think I have a lot of people in my life who doubt themselves. They see things that they have done as mistakes, when in reality all of the things they have experienced have only shaped what remarkable people they are today. We may not want to think our past has the power to dictate our future, but it certainly has the power to shape it. Whether we are full of doubt or regret, we are who we are based upon the choices that we have made. And we all must learn to live with them. Think them not skeletons in the closet. Think not cruelly of them. Don’t become full of frustration or aggression toward them. You chose to have them in your life, and you chose to be rid of them. So do that. Be rid of it. Be proud of the steps you’ve taken, and only continue to make them. Let your life go on.
“So we are, what we are, and will be.
So we know, what we knew all the while,
There’s no rest in this race round ourselves
Just the crown, and the unending trial.”