let the panic ensue

So, I have been working as an elementary school teacher for the past year now, and part of me is having doubts about this career path. Some days I come into work and feel so inspired and passionate about what I am doing with these young students. Other days I peer down at my pitiful excuse of a paycheck and wonder why I signed up for this.

Just this morning I was surfing around job board postings online to see what options there are out there. What astounded me was that a personal assistant position was going to pay 70K, provide a car, a cell phone, and there is no required education level. Currently? I am pursuing my masters degree and I only see money slipping out of my account and not coming back in at nearly the same rate.

I didn’t chose education for the money. I knew that going in I wouldn’t be living a lavish lifestyle. But, sometimes at the age of 23 I want to be exploring the world, traveling and enjoying this time in my life where I have ultimate freedom. I worry that I have chosen my path too soon, and settled too quickly into something that I love, but I don’t know if it’s what I want to do forever. I don’t know.

I really love to write, and despite knowing that I can still come home every day and write and continue to work on pieces that I have been creating over long periods of time … it’s still hard to get up in the morning.

If you have every felt like you are going in the wrong direction, or have gotten cold feet about a major life decision please comment below. I hope I am not alone in all of this!

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a good week: busy but good

This week was a whirlwind if ever there was one. It felt like all of my professors rallied together and decided to make this the week of hell, meaning EVERYTHING was due. Although my head feels very sleep deprived and I slipped on my pledge to become caffeine free, it all feels pretty good. I gave three presentations, turned in three papers and took one exam. The best part of it all? I feel good about everything I turned in. I worked hard, and this feeling paid off. Let’s just hope I do well on all of this stuff!

Next year I will be attending graduate school and working full-time, somewhere, anywhere at this point! My life is on the precipice of extreme busy, not that I’m not busy now. Before I was terrified of not having enough time to see the people that I care about, or be able to have a quiet afternoon for myself. Yet, now that I have done college for 4 years I really do feel confident in handing high stress levels. I am excited for what is about to come my way, eager to dip my toes into it, and confidant that I will be successful.

I feel good. I think I needed this.